Our Public Image

Joe Bandel
5 min readNov 9, 2017

Self mastery and mastery of our physical lives means to constantly act in an appropriate manner for any given situation. By acting in an appropriate manner we can achieve much more with less effort.

It is difficult enough to achieve our personal goals without deliberately alienating people that could become our allies and supporters. There will always be enemies. We should not drive away those that could become our friends.

Friends, family and society expect us to act and perform in certain ways. When we act in ways that are expected of us we receive support and approval. Without the support and approval of friends, family and society we can not physically achieve the goals we desire. It is vital to realize the importance of the support other people give us or can give us. Without support even if we achieve our physical goal we will not enjoy it.

Our joy comes from sharing with others things we have truly earned. If we have no one to share with our victory in life becomes meaningless. We become as a child that refuses to share its toys with anyone else.

When we act in a manner that is unconventional or surprising our friends, family and society withdraw their support. If our actions are too extreme we are rejected or punished in subtle ways meant to bring us back in line. We have all experienced peer pressure to some degree in our lives. It is a very powerful force.

Self mastery means having the adaptability and self esteem to do what is expected and by putting our own creative slant on things go in the direction we wish to go. There is a way to creatively unite what others demand of us and those things we want in life. It is up to us to find that win-win situation. Our friends, family and society will only support us after they understand our personal goals are in harmony with what they expect of us.

When we are successful they will understand how the achieving of our personal goal has helped everyone. Until that time we will stand alone against terrible opposition with very little support. If we can gain any kind of support from others we should try to do it.

No one understands us like we understand ourselves. Even our families and closest friends don’t really understand us at times. They can only go by our actions, what they see and what we tell them about ourselves.

Everyone takes the limited information they receive about us and create an image or impression of us. This image or impression is their own understanding of who we are. This image is a label or stereotype. They use this image or stereotype in all future dealings with us unless we for some reason force them to re-evaluate who we are.

We do the same thing. We look at our best friend and think we understand him or her. We believe we can predict how our friend will act in certain situations. When our friend doesn’t act the way we expect we suspect something is wrong.

We try to get them to act in a way we have grown accustomed to. We want them to act in a stereotyped way. When they act in the accustomed way we know how to deal with them. When they act in unfamiliar ways we no longer know what is appropriate and that makes us uncomfortable.

We want to be comfortable. Others want to be comfortable around us too. They want us to act in predictable ways. One of the most powerful ways to achieve our physical goals is to act, dress and live in a manner that will create the image or stereotype appropriate for achieving our goals.

We must deliberately choose the image we wish and be consistent in projecting that image. We must look and act as if we are already the type of person we wish to be. We must act as if we have already achieved the goal we want to achieve.

Through repeated exposure to the image we are projecting others will stereotype us in a manner consistent with the goal we want. People will begin to support our efforts because it seems right we have those goals. They come to believe we have the right to the goals we are seeking.

The support of others validates us and helps us get through difficult times. We get feedback that others would like us to succeed. We feel good about ourselves and our goals.

This is especially true when our loved ones are supportive of us. The powerful thing about deliberately creating stereotypes is we can customize our image in a way that is one of a kind and unforgettable. People will fit us within a certain category and then create a special sub-category especially for us.

The key is to first create a general stereotype recognizable to others. Then we can create a sub-category that is unique and individual. When people don’t recognize the image we project they will create one of their own that is not one we would like to have.

They will treat you and interact with you in a manner that will perpetuate their image of you. If you are labeled as a loser or a flake you will be treated like a loser or a flake.

These negative stereotypes are some of the hardest obstacles we must overcome in physically achieving our goals in life. It is much better to project the image of your choice than to allow others to choose for you.

The way to earn this special sub-category in to act, dress and live according to stereotype but also add so much open honesty and integrity that you as an individual become more important and interesting than the stereotype itself.

Be true to the stereotype we project while also being true to ourselves. Give others clues as to the best ways to interact with us. Let people know how we want to be treated so they can treat us in the way we ask.

If the image we project is too complex others will not understand us and be uncomfortable around us. We want people to feel comfortable around us. We want to act in predictable ways and make it easy for others to be comfortable with us.

The most important stereotype we project is a sexual one. What kind of man or woman am I? Do I take care of myself? Am I attractive and physically fit? What is my attitude and my outlook on life?

Think of yourself. Look in a mirror. What do you see? What do others see? Do others see what we want them to see? How can we improve the image we project? Is the sexual stereotype you project going to help you achieve your personal goals in life?

Is your sexual stereotype supportive of who you really want to be in life?

Once accepted a stereotype tends toward self-fulfillment because both you and those you interact with constantly reinforce it. You are rewarded for acting in a manner consistent with the stereotype and punished for deviating from it.

We have a duty to ourselves to look and act in a manner consistent with the achievement of the goals we want. If we want to be a farmer we should look and act like a farmer. If we want to be a doctor we should look and act like a doctor.

Are we to remain passive victims in life or are we going to do whatever must be done to achieve our goals? Are we going to take risks and project ourselves as winners?

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