Learn Your False Responses

We all have false responses. That’s when we feel one way and act another way. Someone might ask if we are ok and we tell them we are when we really are not ok.

Other examples of false responses are never completing things we start; feeling the grass is always greener somewhere else; never asking someone out on a date because we fear rejection.

Over and over again our false responses get in our way and cause us to trip and fall right before we reach the finish line. False responses are rationalizations and lies that we tell ourselves to avoid confronting the things that need to be owned and accepted before we can move closer toward our goals.

In most cases our false responses are protection mechanisms created to avoid unpleasant situations. We live with someone we don’t love for the sake of the children or stay at a job where we are not treated like a human being because we fear unemployment.

We are all blessed with a wide range of sensory awareness and life experience. Our physical human bodies are fully integrated and functional. At least they try to be unless we frustrate and block them with our false responses.

What I’m trying to say here is that our false responses divide and separate who we are and what we feel. They make us feel divided and lead to stress and perhaps mental or emotional illness. When we want something and can’t get it there are two paths we can follow. The easiest option is to rationalize and lie to ourselves that someone or something is preventing us from the achievement of that goal. As long as the cause of our personal failure lies external to us we have no reason to change or try harder.

The second path is much harder. We have to own up to the fact that our own actions have brought us to our current situation and our own actions must carry us forward out of them. The reason we can’t achieve our goal is because we are either doing something wrong or are not ready yet. When we hit the brick wall we need to realize that it usually manifests when we are going in the wrong direction.

Rationalizations and lies are mental in nature. This means that mentally we can’t find a way that will reach our goal. It does no good to tell ourselves that our body is wrong or that our emotions are wrong. We sense what we sense and we feel what we feel. Those are true things. We just don’t fully understand them.

The mental nature needs to be in harmony with the physical body and the emotions. This is obvious but how can we do this? Research and exploration. Research the goal and study how others go about achieving it. An in depth study of any subject will show that it is not exactly what we imagined it to be. Being a writer is much more hard work than I ever imagined it to be. I had no idea that material needed to be re-written up to ten times before it was presentable as a book.

Having a loving and sexual relationship with a partner has been nothing at all like I thought it would be. It’s much more work than I ever dreamed but it is also much more satisfying.

When we first try to achieve a goal we don’t know what it takes to reach that goal. Our expectations are not realistic. We can either stop trying and rationalize why we can’t have what we want or we can research and learn to have more realistic expectations. False responses are when our mental nature gives up.

Learning by doing and having a gentle gradient are the most powerful ways of breaking through false responses. Taking things by baby steps and mastering each small step at a time will break through any false response and replace it with a true success. This is much better than wanting too much too fast and then crashing and burning.

At the completion of each baby step we learn more about our goal. Our expectations become more realistic and we might even find we only thought we wanted that goal. What we really want is something else entirely. We can’t even discover that deeper truth until our curiosity is satisfied about the first one.

Learning and satisfying our curiosity clear the way for advancement to what really matters. This does not mean to give in to every stray whim and fancy. That is what our mental natures are for. When fully integrated they recognize these physical and emotional impulses and understand them for what they are, sensory data and impressions.

Our mental natures discern harmful or negative possibilities and steer us around bad experiences while affirming those feelings and impressions. It’s ok to look as long as you don’t touch. You’ve got your own at home.